kim's bdae yesterday
had dinner at hyatt
borrowed my sis clothes since kim wanted it to be formal
meaning no jeans n t-shirt
so i wore a knee length flowy skirt n a nice top
dunno how to describe my top
but its all black la
kim was the 1st there
then su me n shiyou
n the rest
they were HELL late
like 45mins late
so 4...actually 5
fish wasn't tt late
so the 5 of us waited for the 3 v v v v v v v v v v v v v v v v v v v v v v v v v v v v late ppl
one who was only 5mins away n the other 2 took cab
n they were still soooooooo late
yeah
made kim sooooo upset
but o wells
ian has a damn good ability to screw up wateva he does
screwing himself in the process as well
v smart man
v smart
o wells
but dinner was nice la
shared pizza with shiyou
was sitting opp kim with ian n sara on her sides
me in between shiyou n suyee
jeremy n fish at the ends
fish..is a funny guy
i liked the cake the best
it was a damn delicious choc cake
then shiyou n suyee n i left
suyee's mom sent us to paragon to take cab home since shiyou had a curfew
which she din make in the end too anw
reached home
got damn pissed at my parents
read finish my book
went to sleep
woke up at 6.48am!!!!
couldn't sleep
so terrible
haiz
so sad
damn tired now
i wanna go warren but i dunno if my parents will allow!!!
damn it
damn irritated at my parents
they are such freaking hyprocrites n damn bloody biased asses
i always see my mom lie
lie bout this n that
she lies for her damn bloody convinence
n she always goes o nvm one la, lie abit only
n she used to ask me where i learnt to lie
like seriously
can she just look in the bloody mirror
they say i always talk v loudly
like hello...have they heard themselves when they're arguing
have they heard the volume when my moms family meet up
have they heard the fucking volume when my mom screams at me like always for doing i dunno wat
apparently not
argh
damn asses
forever
watever i do
they always put me down
playing the piano, singing[argh], bowling, my school work
no matter wat i do
wat are the results i get
they always criticise me
im never good enough
some subjects, like hcl, i get a b4, 2nd best in class
they still say how come i do so badly
like wtf la
then i wld say how many do badly too, they wld say dun compare with others
then they compare me with the ppl who did much better
like wah lao
so much for not comparin huh
hyprocrites
i think i might actually still like playing the piano
cus i dun exactly detest it
but i just totally hate how they would always comment on wateva i play
they think that they are so smart
say how i should not play the pieces like this, should play it like that
like seriously, they don't even know how to play piano
they don't even know how to read the scores
and they criticise me
they killed all my interest in piano
all of it
the same thing with bowling
they don't even know how to bowl
and they say i'm bowling wrongly
they always say i don't let them see me bowl
its more of because they were never there when i learnt to bowl
never there when i was at competitions
never there to support
never there when i needed some encouragemnent, when i feel sad
yet they are always there to criticise me on my bowling
on my results
on everything i do
its not just bowling
its my freaking life
they always think that i'm so independent
think that i'm fine
my frens think that its good wat, my parents feel that i'm independent
well i bloody hell had to learn how to do things on my own when they were not around wat
i was always with the maid
they always left me with the maid
i used to be so much closer to the maid than to them
everytime i was sad n cried, it was my maid comforting me
never my mom or dad
they would just scold me for crying
it was always like that
then my mom changed maid o so often
frens left
things changed
i learnt the hard way
its best to depend on my self
tts y i learnt to be independent
cus my parents were never there when i needed them
when i was sad n down
they were just never there
they just seemed to never noticed how i was feeling
whether i was alright anot
they just expects me to do things
n as long as i do tt
i'm fine
if i dont, i have attitude problem
i'm so sick of this
damn bloody fucking sick of all this shit
this stupid life
it hurts
hell alot
when i see my mom n sis so close
when my mom dotes so much on my bro
gives him wateva he wants
n all she always does to me
is just scold
day in day out
everyday
she just scolds me
everything i do
she finds faults at me
i m supposed to do everything all the time
while everybody else does nothing
everything is michelle do this, michelle do that
never sam do this or amy do this
always michelle michelle michelle
so much so i feel more like the bloody maid then her daughter
she always says i got attitude problem just cus i say its unfair when i have to do everything n every1 else just slacks
its just not fucking fair
she is forever scolding me
saying how i irritate her a lot
if tt the case
why the hell did she want to have me in the 1st place
she already had a daughter n a son
y did she want to have another child
it would have all been so much better if i had not been born
at least i think so
the only purpose for me is to clean the damn bloody house n be the maid n do everything
yet she wants me to not talk n not spend her money
in that case
she should just get a fucking robot or a maid rather than have a daughter
she's is forvever picking on me
I always do something to irritate her
i irritate her just by living in her goddamn house!!!
argh
they always criticise me
saying how i'm not good enough
then say y i dun self confidence
well...gee...i dunno[note the damn sacarsm]
why don't he go look in the mirror n think then tell me y!!!
argh!!!!!!!!!!!
I HATE MY FUCKING LIFE!!!!
ITS FULL OF SHIT!!!!!
ASSHOLES
BITCHES
ya, i should like a damn bitch now
but u noe wat
they person who gave birth n raised me is a bitch
wat do u expect
argh
ppl say a child grow up to the love they've known
no wonder i turn out like that